2.) Cut and paste the list
3.) Bold or italicize items that apply to you.
Your monthly house payments exceed your monthly income.
You make over $300,000 and still can’t afford a house.
You take a bus and are shocked when two people carry on a conversation in English.
Your coworker has 8 body piercings and none are visible.
You speak Spanish, but you’re not Mexican.
Your child’s 3rd-grade teacher has purple hair, a nose ring, and is named Flower.
You don’t know anyone’s phone number unless you check your cell phone. (Also my PDA.)
You’ve been to a baby shower that has two mothers and a sperm donor.
You have a very strong opinion about where your coffee beans are grown, and you can taste the difference between Sumatran and Ethiopian. (Chocolate, not coffee. Maybe cheese and wine, too.)
You begin to “lie” to your friends about how close you are when you know damn well that it’ll take you at least an hour to get there (see below).
Getting anywhere from point A to point B, no matter what the distance, takes about “twenty minutes.”
You drive to your neighborhood block party.
A really great parking space can totally move you to tears.
Gas is $1.00 per gallon more than anywhere else in the US
Unlike back home, the guy at 8:30 am at Starbucks wearing a baseball cap and sunglasses who looks like George Clooney really IS George Clooney. (Maybe not Clooney, but we've seen a few folk from Hollywood in our day.)
You can’t remember … is pot illegal?
You pass an elementary school playground and the children are all busy with their cell phones or pagers.
It’s barely sprinkling rain outside, so you leave for work at least an hour early to avoid all the weather-related accidents.
Both you AND your dog have therapists, psychics, personal trainers and cosmetic surgeons.
You drive next to a Rolls Royce and don’t notice.
In the “winter,” you can go to the beach, ski at Big Bear, mow your lawn in your shorts and maybe get a sunburn all on the same day. (Could, but who mows a lawn when we're under water restriction?)
You eat a different ethnic food for every meal.
If your destination is more than 5 minutes away on foot, you’re definitely driving.
Calling your neighbors requires knowing their area code.
You know what “In-’N-Out” is and feel bad for the other states that don’t have any. (Though I like FatBurger and Umami Burger better.)
You don’t stop at a STOP sign, you do a California roll.
You’ve partied in Tijuana at least 3 times and you can’t remember at least 1 of them.
You go to a tanning salon before you go to the beach.
Your have a permanent impression on the side of your head from your cell phone.
You know that Venice is a beach. (Not to mention, a cultural phenomenon, and a place to find a drum circle.)
The waitress asks if you want “carbs” in your meal.
You know who the tinsel underwear dude in Venice Beach is.
You classify new people you meet by their Area Code. An “818” would never date a “562” and so on…
You call 911 and they put you on hold.
You have a gym membership because it’s mandatory.
The gym is packed at 3pm … on a workday.
You think you are better than the people who live “Over the Hill.” It doesn’t matter which side of the hill your home is, you are just better than they are.
You know that if you drive two miles in any direction you will find a McDonald’s or a Starbucks. (There used to be one of each about four blocks from our house; the Starbucks, but not the McDonald's, closed.)
You know what “sigalert,” “PCB,” and “five” mean.
You can’t remember . . . is pot illegal?
It’s barely sprinkling rain and there’s a report on every news station: “STORM WATCH.”
The Terminator is your governor. (But not for much longer.)
You live next door to mexicans
You go to the Beach - not "down to the shore."
You judge people based on what area code they live in, and when asked where you're from, you give your area code.
We have The Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf which is way better than Starbucks.
We call it soda, not pop.
The fastest part of your commute is down your driveway.
Your sense of direction=Toward the ocean and away from the ocean.
The primary bugs that you worry about are electronic.
You can't find your other earring because your son/brother is wearing it.
Your family tree contains "significant others."
You see 25 lawyers chasing an ambulance.
More than clothes come out of the closets.
More money is spent on facelifts than on diapers. (I'd also count breast augmentations.)
You pack shorts and a T-shirt for skiing in the snow, and a sweater and a wetsuit for the beach.
When you can't schedule a meeting because you must "do lunch."
Your children learn to walk in Birkenstocks.
You'll reluctantly miss yoga class to wait for the hot tub repairman.
You don't care what race people are because you're too busy wondering what gender they are.
A low speed police pursuit will interrupt ANY TV broadcast.
Your car insurance costs as much as your house payment.